its dark

it has been for days

no light shines through thes–cocain haze window shade eye lids

and i can’t breath–asphyxiated by the bloated belly of the beast that feeds on my thoughts

no oxygen gets trough this million ciggarete tall smoke tomb i’ve created

and if you see the sun tell him im looking for some light

something to shine through on my otherwise unbearably predictable predicament

note the revelation i will have when the pills reach my belly and the beast reaches my brain

and my thoughts hit the ceeling and the shit hits the fan

and i no longer breath but my hearts still beating

the ambulance is coming and the charcol will be consuming

and god keeps looming over my head

i sit back in this white walled sterile lemon cented hospital bed

and wonder why the whole world questions my sadistic belief that my life will be better left to grave thiefs

i stopped tryign to fight the main streem scene and lived a life of class for what now seems like most of my past

and now it seems to all catch up to me

the pasts keep coming faster then a fright train on speed based extacy

and if you want extacy i dont use it but i know a guy who can supply a steddy streem of some kind of green machine

but back to reality

behind a partical board desked walled in by half high celling less rooms

its a lot less frantic then i would have met if i had med my doom

but all the same its hell

dirty fingernails.

dirty fingernails

on a white washed wall…

uncovering words

sprawled across

a day and a half long

describing your

fall from hell

as you threw…

a penny in the wishing well

wishy washy

flip floppy

trigger happy

half hour

battle

understanding talk of

your fall from

riches to rags

gold teeth to trash bags

smoking to fucking fags

for the dope you so desire

as you write you prespire

and you never think to aspire

to be more then a

penny at the bottom of a wishing well

painted pictures could tell

a story

of glory

of grace

of a life

lived at a faster pace

not many could keep up

and time after time

the story repeats

and depletes

the world of wonderful minds

that get caught in a bind

and find

solace in the hearts they break

bloddy mess.

i robbed a man

i was not a fan

of the way things turned out

because control was lost

and i fought to gain

some prespectie

on the rotation

of the world

and while i spun

i shot my gun

killed you

just to find out

if i could see

the blood

spilt

…

i have never seen a man die before

but i have seen one in the gutter

and without the shutter of an eye

i walked over him and out of sight

had no urge to help had nothing to fight

drawn by a flickering neon light

and the dreadful urge to itch a bug bite

thats been plauging me for weeks

i should get it checked out

but without a doubt

i will keep it inflamed

enough to keep me entertained

and distracted

or impacted

by the impact

this whole situation has on my world

and as im hurled forward

into the corrupt

i erupt with

a jump

hop

and

a skip

im off

i could run for days

off the adrenalin of this fight

for control and fatigue

a dream in colors.

a women and a man

listened to a song

took a hit from a bong

spun around in a circle

for hours

crashed and burnt

felt the earth

no longer grasp them

felt the people

no longer felt perception

so to this day

they sit

on a branch in a tree

on the west side of the world

and question

the exhistence

of everyone who passes buy

so if you ever end up

on the west side of the world

dont walk under trees

you may end up

on a tree branch

trying to

grasp

a perception

of the world you are in

by questioning

the exhistence

of everything/one

else around you

a novel idea.

a young novelist

once told me to watch my back

as he pulled a man

out of a hat

magic was his game

and fame was his name

he ran the night life

he had one women

she was his wife

they lived together

in a large house

that had a couple of rooms

with no rooom

to move

or grove

so i took my bags

and i packed my things

and me and his wife left

on a fling

standing on a jet plan wing

we walked with the wind

in our face

we kissed in the sky

we jumed we did not die

suspended mid air

holding onto one anothers hair

i fear for my life

for i am with this mans wife

he runs the world

i run away

and for this one day

i suppose i am happy

or am supsended in time

but if you ask

i will tell you i am fine

bought dinner for the two of us

out of the sky

we fell to the ground

and found

where we were

was where we had been

the whole time

we ate in silence

eye contact was made

intermittently

we ate slow

and a pace was set

by the background music

you could confuse it with a billboard top ten chart topping hit

but it was a man in the corner on his electric organ

playing to the music he heard in his head

i asked her to dance

she said fat chance

so i took her by the arm

and with a wink and some charm

i convinced her

that i was a mister

who could swing and sing

and dance if she’d only give me a chance

so we danced

the rest of the night away

and the next day i woke up

with a laugh

it was all a joke

what do you expect

the young novelist

he said he shared house

with spirits

that made your thoughts

inherit

crazy fantasies…

dreams…

that seem to be realitys

i dont mind if you find a dime…

lately i’ve been absent minded

but its all been binded

together by thoughts

of me being aprehensive

but its all a comprehensive

look at my perseption

of reality

but in actuality

my perseption

is lost in the depths

of where ever i chose to stare

and what ever i chose to bare

to the person who asks the most questions

i think they care what i have to say

but hey who cares anyway

its ok if you dont

but dont faint interest

prototype

i had a thought

and i’ll give it a shot

open your ears

and let loose your tears

bit your lip

cover your fears

we will go on a ride

we do not need a guide

because this is just for us

so i must ask you for your trust

i must as you for your patients

lay away until today

thoughts bottled up

kept from the public

kept from ourselves

because when you let your thoughts develop

they may turn into opinions

and you’ll turn into and adult a grownup

so dont tell me to shut up

im not that much of a fuck up

and i’ll poor another cup

to subdue my thoughts

because no ones listening

and no ones hearing

no one caring

music blaring

and im just sharing

what im feeling

so let me deviate

before my cares seperate

and i am left

in the dead zone

i will fly

the surgar the cigarettes the tea the writing on the walls it all falls and we do our best to stand our ground as our hearts the pound and we have found our resting place in the peace with a flock of geese gracefulling soreing keeping me from whoring myself for money even though its temting i’ll stick to the sky honey fuck the money i can sore now i can lift myself from the floor now i can save myself from this bore of a life and keep away from the thoughts of women… the thoughts of a wife… i stay alone… i stay away from home… i dont want these things to stick i dont want to become a bumkin hick… i’ll stick to the sky… i’ll fly

shadows cast by giants

i get these god awful head aches

and i believe it is form not eating

but im not hungry

so i am forever

perplexed by this connudrum

i wonder how many words

i can use

to make me sound smarter then i am

and how many words i can misspell

before people stop trying to correct me

and let me live

with misspelled words

i dont believe words should be

capatilized

it takes away form the significance

of the other letters in the words

you should

know

by now

that a new sentence

has begun

by the period

before

the word

you should also

by now know

if something is possessive

by the context of the sentence

what i am tryign to say

is that capitalization

and

puncuation

and

grammar

and

all

of

this bull shit

is set up for the dumb

its a crutch if you can understand something

with out all of these little catches

well then you are hopless

and i am

sorry

i hope you live

a full

and successfull

life

but i kind of doubt you will

good bye

good luck

suck a flying fuck

i bid you adu

and a toodaloou